Life or Love
by newyork13
Summary: Rose Hathaway is always finding herself in situations that could land her in deep trouble with the Moroi Council. So when a well-known Guardian and a High Profile Royal are kidnapped can Rose keep their daughter safe while not allowing her to know her mother is a Royal, as well as trying to keep the Moroi Queen and the Queens son safe at the same time?
1. Chapter 1

'How is what happened my fault?' I asked.

'Rose for the hundredth time, I never said it was your fault. Guardian Croft did, you know what he's like' Dimitri replied softly.

Guardian Hans Croft head of security at the Moroi Royal Court had accused me of blowing up the court archives it wasn't like they couldn't get them back – the Alchemists had pretty much downloaded all our records when they agreed to help us work out why when you got turned back from strigoi you couldn't become one again; a lot of Guardians knew they were helping us but only a handful of Moroi. But I had to admit my punishment wasn't as bad as when I was accused of killing the last Moroi Queen, Queen Tatiana Ivashkov. When that had happened I'd been put on the death sentence this time – in my opinion it was worse – I was being sent to help train a group of handpicked newly graduated Guardians in the Wisconsin forests. They decided that even if I was found guilty of blowing up the archives the current Queen would fight tooth and nail to keep me as one of her Guardians and knowing the Queen like I did she'd probably use compulsion on everyone in court. Alchemists are humans charged with helping Moroi and Dhampir's keep our societies secrets; they serve as the bridge between our world and the human world – their also pretty good at protecting our Princesses. Moroi are the good vampires. Opposed to the strigoi, they are born and they die and they are alive and mortal. They wield magic of one of the four elements – Earth, Water, Fire and Air. There is also a fifth element which was unknown up till three years ago we know of a few welders of this element but only three of them are widely known; Sonya Karp, Adrian Ivashkov and Queen Vasilisa Dragomir. Strigoi on the other hand are evil vampires that distinguish from Moroi in many ways. They are undead, and they are made and not born. There are two ways to become Strigoi; One Dhampirs and Moroi and Humans are forced – not all humans are, some choose this life and beg Strigoi for it in return for helping them break wards – this is where the Strigoi drink your blood and then feed theirs back to you. Strigoi on the other hand are evil vampires that distinguish from Moroi in many ways. They are undead, and they are made and not born. The second way is where Moroi drink all the blood of someone while feeding – they do this willingly. And then there are the Dhampir's like myself and Dimitri I changed the topic from the one Dimitri and I'd been having about the archives to the one about me training Guardians.

'Okay then. So why do we need to train already trained Guardians?' I asked.

'Because they will be assigned to some of the highest royals' Dimitri replied.

'You already told me that.'

'I know, you've asked that question at least twice in the last hour.' It wasn't like I didn't love road trips with Dimitri – because I fucking well do – it's just I'd hoped that we'd talk about something more um I guess romantic, but it didn't look like that was going to happen.

'Okay answer me this then, why are they re-assigning the highest royals, but not Lissa?'

'Roza I don't even know that'

'Wow badass Guardian God Dimitri Belikov doesn't even know; then where done for.'

'Hardly Roza, they wouldn't dare cross us.'

'Hey I'm the one who comes up with witty comebacks cut that out.'

He smiled at me and I'm pretty sure I blushed.

We drove in silence why I racked my brain trying to figure out why everything was going wrong.

'Has this got anything to do with the Tarus massacre?' The strigoi had been out and about recently in the last few months killing Royals and the biggest disaster so far was a massive repeat of what had happened in my senior year of high school – it's been three years since my senior year. Before the massacre they're been around 600 Tarus but now there was only 400. But when compared to the extremely small Dragomir clan of now three - when it had only been two, two years ago – it was still large but what had happened to them was still rocking both the Dhampir and Moroi worlds and there was some vague disturbing upset feelings coming from the alchemists. The Taurus's had been hosting an exclusive Tarus only banquet and yeah there'd been plenty of wards set up and hundreds of Guardians but the strigoi had still managed to kill 185 Tarus's and they had turned another 23. The Guardians ourselves had lost around 200 Guardians so our numbers where currently extremely small.

'Rose, don't bring that up!' he muttered something in Russian.

'Why?!' I demanded.

'Do you remember in your senior year when they proposed bringing the Guardian graduation age to sixteen...' he took a breath '… and then it passed and then they put it on hold…they changed their minds again, they've gone through with it.'

'Please tell me Lissa didn't agree to this? Why didn't she tell me?'

'Rose do you honestly think she agreed to it. When the council voted too many votes swang in the direction of changing the Guardian age that Lissa's vote wouldn't even have made any difference even if it had more power behind it and you know how much trouble the councils had lately'

I watched him for a few moments and then sighed 'Why did this have to happen…especially now. I'd finally though the Moroi where nearly back on track when Jill turned eighteen.'

'We all did Roza, we all did.'

'But no, Prince Rufus got killed when the strigoi attacked at the Tarus banquet and now Prince Brody isn't making anything easier.'

'You know it's hard on him he lost his family less than a month ago and then he's been given the added problems of being named Prince of the Tarus family.'

'You know what I'm tired and I am going to get some sleep and when I wake up I'll hopefully have a more reasoned view on the current situation. One thing are, we getting sixteen year old novices?'

Dimitri nodded.

I took off my seatbelt and climbed into the back of the Honda CRV, where I'd pushed all the seats downed before we'd left court so that we could get some type of sleep.

'Goodnight' I said as I pulled my sleeping bag over my head and tried to fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys so sorry it's taken so long to update, but I am now. I've got four fan fictions that I writing or in one case re-writing at the moment. So bare with me, but I'm getting there. Rose and Dimitri are still on their way to camp and it's time for new Allies and friends to arise.**

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I woke slowly surprised that I'd even managed to get any sleep – the floor of a Honda CRV isn't exactly the most comfortable bed in the world. I soon realised why I felt so comfortable and so relaxed, it was because Dimitri was asleep beside me and his arm was around me his fingers laced into mine – I must have been seriously asleep as I'd never felt him lace our fingers together. I slowly unlaced our fingers – to my displeasure – and, carefully crawled out of my sleeping bag so that I wouldn't wake him. I climbed into the driving seat and started the Honda; the GPS flashed on and, it was still set with the map we'd been following the night before.

'200miles to go… fantastic' I muttered. It would take us at least another day to reach where ever we were going.

I don't know how long I'd be driving for when Dimitri woke up.

'Hi Comrade' I smiled

'Hello Roza' he answered, climbing into the passenger seat.

'Um what's the place where going too called?'

'Цамп Труст ин Хер'

'Would that be the Russian or Romanian translation; because I'd really love the English translation?'

'Russian. Camp "Trust in Her"'

'Oh so what is meant by that?'

'Well many believe that it's in reference to the first Moroi Queen, Queen Madalina Ozera'

'Lucky Christian' I answered. I thought for a second, 'Wait she wasn't just the first Queen was she also changed the ways the Moroi governed and ruled…' I knew something else '…shit! It was her who first convinced the Moroi to fight side by side with their Guardians'

'How'd you know that?'

'I was reading some really old books in the court library one night because I couldn't sleep; Christian was at college…so you can probably guess why I couldn't sleep.'

Dimitri smiled, 'Somehow I think you know the rest as well.'

'Well, yeah, I do. She became Queen in a similar way to Lissa; the current King, King Ivan Badica was assassinated – in those times the Ozera's and Badica's were the closest related royal families. King Ivan was the first Moroi Monarch to be killed and as a result the council wasn't entirely sure what to do. This was when Aona Topezuvjwa's stepped forward and proposed that when Moroi were murdered they choose the next one with the way they choose Lissa; but she didn't believe this was the way that they should choose the next Monarch in the same way if they were assassinated. If they were assassinated she thought that the oldest family member of the closet family be named sovereign no matter if they are male all female – she was surprised they listened to her as she was a Dhampir. This caused some disputes within the current council, as without a Monarch they were left with an even number. The first three families to agree to what Aona had suggested where the Ozera's, Badica's, and Lazars. They all had different reasons of course. The Ozera's obviously because they were the closet relations to the Badicas. The Badicas because they trusted the Ozera's would rule with pride, trust and loyalty. And the Lazars because King Ivan's wife was born into their family. It wasn't long till the Dragomirs and Vodas agreed also. But the number was still uneven…there was no way the Szelsky's, Conta's or Zeklos's would agree. They focused on the Dashkov's…' I shuddered.

'Roza he's dead, he's can't hurt you now' Dimitri consoled me. I let a hand slip off the steering wheel and he took hold of it squeezing it gently – I squeezed it back.

'Don't let go' I breathed

'I won't Rose, I won't ever' he replied softly, barely a whisper

Once upon a time the Dashkov's had never affected me…I'd actually liked them…but then Victor Dashkov happened; he had Lissa kidnapped and set a compulsion spell on Dimitri and I so that we wouldn't be able to stop him from kidnapping Lissa – the spell had taken away all boundaries from myself and Dimitri that where stopping us from being together and letting all urges free, so in other words we'd nearly had sex. But in the end Dimitri managed to throw the necklace away which controlled the spell and we gotten our own minds back and where able to save Lissa.

'…As they are closely related to the Dragomirs and they knew if they convinced the Dashkovs they'd convince the Ivashkovs – even then they followed the Dashkovs like lost puppies – and if they had the Dashkovs they'd have the Tarus's and Drozodov's – as the Tarus Princes son had just married a Drozodov.'

'You got this all from a book?' Dimitri asked.

'Well it was more like a diary – Aona Topezuvjwa's diary in fact'

'You should tell Guardian Croft that there is a library in the palace full of archive worthy documents for him to refill the archive once they rebuild it.'

I smiled.

'Okay where was I. They obviously got the families they wanted leaving the Szelsky's, Conta's and Zeklos's obviously pissed off. The Council followed the new law and choosing the eldest royal from the closest related family to the Badicas so they looked to the Ozera's and then to Madalina who was the oldest, she took to the throne with Dignity and Pride and like you said everyone trusted her and she taught her fellow Moroi to fight alongside their Guardians as she believed that they were equal to their Guardian counterparts. They trusted her and they fought and that is why _some _Ozera's still know so much about the defensive spells,' and when I say some I mean Christian Ozera.

'I'm starting to think that Lissa is Madalina reborn'

I laughed 'She's got the same spirit; the_ exact_ same spirit'

'How did Aona know?'

'You _always_ trust your best friend – especially if their bonded to you' I answered.

'But if Madalina was a spirit user wouldn't everyone have known?' Dimitri asked. I had to hold back a laugh as for once I knew the answers that Dimitri didn't – when it was usually the other way round.

'She hid it…It's like what Adrian says the spirit users hide what they really are with the air element, because it's an element that can be easily faked' I answered.

'You should really tell Lissa, Rose'

'I know, but I don't want to worry her with that…not at the moment…'

'I think you mean not at the time that she and Christian have to talk to Guardian Croft and agree on who Lachie's Guardians should be?'

'Yes.' I grumbled, 'But I still don't see why he needs Guardians' the moment I said that I knew it was the wrong thing to say and Dimitri knew I hadn't meant it either, 'I just want my best friend back, she hasn't seemed like my best friend lately.'

'Rose you know why and you can't blame her and I know you know deep down that she never wanted to be Queen and now she's stuck with it, so cut her some slack and you know how much choosing Lachie's protection has been worrying her.'

'I know, but he doesn't start school for, three years and why can't she ask Croft to allow two of the Royal Guards to take up his protection as last time _I_ checked we were the ones guarding him at the moment.'

'I know you are, but Lachie isn't going to be King.'

'But he _will_ eventually be the Dragomir Prince no one can deny that!' even though I wasn't shadow-kissed anymore, I sometimes felt like the effects of spirit never really left me entirely – I hadn't noticed till recently – and so far Dimitri was the only one I told this. Because I knew if I told Lissa she'd never forgive herself for what she'd done to me.

'Rose this isn't you, you know that – I know you think it's stuck with you and there's a chance it is, but your more Rose than shadow-kissed now, so fight it, fight it like you fight anything or anyone who ever gets in your way' I trusted him.

'This isn't me,' Dimitri was right.

I pulled the Honda over to the side of the road and climbed out of the car and took a deep breath. Dimitri had come round and pulled me into a hug. I rested my head on his chest, listening to the soft beating of his heart – the beating of his heart was something I treasured as much as I loved him.

'I wish I didn't feel like this. I feel like I did when…when…' I felt like I did the night before Dimitri had been turned into a Strigoi – the same night before, when Dimitri and I had really expressed our true feelings for each other – when I pulled all the blackness of spirit from Lissa and into myself giving me this extreme urge to attack Jesse Zeklos.

'You felt like you were losing Lissa then to, didn't you?' he asked.

I nodded.

'And that's exactly how you feel now like you're losing her again.'

'But how can this be to do with being shadow-kissed; but I'm not shadow-kissed anymore the moment I came back after that bullet hit me I was no longer shadow-kissed, so why am I feeling like this. I hate this' usually I tried not to cry, but around Dimitri I couldn't help it and right now I couldn't and now tears were rolling down my cheeks.

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**So reviews are like a writers bread and butter, so the more I get the better. I'm sorry if there were any spelling mistakes or grammar errors I never got a chance to edit this chapter. **

**K. x**


	3. Chapter 3

Before meeting me Dimitri used to always put the Moroi before himself – but that's what we're all supposed to, it's drilled into from the moment we can walk _'They come first'_. To most of the Dhampir and Moroi world he is a God, but underneath his god-like, tough guy exterior is a man who has the same feelings as everyone else. He's already risked his life and his reputation for me – but his reputation was already on the line, that was because he'd been turned Strigoi and then back to Dhampir by Lissa and he still hadn't been given his title of Guardian back. We were soul mates the missing peace, but it was something more, something that's impossible to explain.

Dimitri kissed my forehead 'It's going to be okay.' We pulled out of the hug and I went around to the other side of the car and got into the passage seat. I slammed my door shut, Dimitri didn't say anything and he started the car.

'What state are we in?'

'Ohio, we'll be in Indiana in about an hour' Dimitri answered.

'Dimitri are you sure you made the right decision not telling your family that you'd been turned back into a Dhampir?'

'Yes, Rose I did. It was easier on them if they didn't find out. You said they took it hard when you told them what had happened, it would be even harder if they found out that I was a Dhampir again it would be too hard to explain to them you know that?'

'But what are you going to do in the future if Paul gets assigned in the US?'

'He won't recognise me, he's never met me.'

'It doesn't mean he won't read your name and recognise it or that you won't meet at Court. Dimitri you've got 3 years before he graduates, because he's 13'

'Rose, you can't predict he'll be assigned to the states. End of story.'

I folded my hands across my chest grumpily.

'Don't give me that look Rose, just don't'

'What look?'

'The look that says that you know I want to.'

'Then you do want to tell them?'

'Of course I do, I want to tell them more than anything but I can't hurt them anymore Rose'

'You wouldn't be hurting them; you'd be telling them that you're still here. And anyway you can tell them that you won't ever be able to become Strigoi again.'

'But that doesn't mean that I won't Rose. Their better off thinking I'm still _dead_, then worrying that I will actually die.'

My phone started ringing. I pulled out of the glove box and looked at the caller ID. Abe.

'Hello'

'Hello Rose'

'Anything I can help you with?'

'Aren't I allowed to call my daughter and say hello?'

'Well yeah you are, but that's not the point. You usually call me when you need my help or something is wrong?' I answered.

'Where are you?'

'Somewhere in Ohio. Don't tell me you're at the camp…you can't of bet us there you watched us leave. Unless you flew.'

'No I'm not at camp but I do need you to pick up a Guardian in Illinois.'

'Fine, who?'

'Emily Pope'

'Yeah alright, where is she in Illinois?'

'Bloomington'

'Give me a second,' I looked over at Dimitri who must have heard the name of the town – because we Dhampirs have super sensitive hearing 'Are we going through there?'

He nodded.

'Yeah we can pick her up' there went my romantic road trip with Dimitri.

'Okay we will bye' I said to Abe.

'Goodbye Rose,' I hung up.

'Who are we picking up?'

'Guardian Emily Pope.'

'That must be Guardian Shane Pope's daughter'

'Daughter?!'

'Yes Daughter, it doesn't always happen the same way, you should know that' I did know that, but it was the rarest thing in the world for a male Dhampir to become a father – most accepted that they wouldn't become a father – and if they did become a father they usually never met their children and the children never usually met their mothers. It was sort of the same for the Dhampirs born to Dhampir mothers, we all meet our mothers but very rarely our fathers…I was a lucky one if you can call it that…I mean Abe is an alright father and I know he loves me and everything but there's just something about him. Dimitri had met his Father a few times but in the end he ended up beating his father up.

'Emily's mothers a Zeklos.'

'So that's how you know,' before Dimitri was assigned to Lissa or Christian he was assigned to Ivan Zeklos, who got killed on his other Guardians watch – Dimitri wouldn't say that he didn't blame himself, but deep down I knew that he did, but then he wouldn't except that it wasn't his fault. 'How where they related?'

'He was her second-cousin.'

'So she was 8 when you were first assigned to Ivan?'

'Yes.'

I counted on my fingers. 'That would've made me 11'.

'Ivan was the only person who knew Karyn was pregnant with a Dhampir apart from Shane.'

'This sounds exactly like what happened with Jill's mom and Sonya.'

'Well it sort of is.'

'Does Emily know?'

'No, she's never allowed to know.'

'Then this is exactly like what happened to Jill.' I smiled knowing I was right. 'Okay so how did Shane and Karyn meet?'

'Shane was assigned to Karyn, straight out of high school – so the way it usually works Rose.' He smiled that time. One point Rose. One point Dimitri.

'Ok, ok…never mind' I replied I could work the answer out for myself…no wait Dimitri never loved Tasha he had only ever loved me. Tasha Ozera; Christian Aunt was imprisoned for killing the previous Moroi Queen Tatiana Ivashkov…not before framing it on me though…this was all done so that she could get her hands all over Dimitri for good.

'No wait; please tell me that they both actually did love each other.'

'They did,' he paused 'But not as much as I love you.' I smiled to myself.

'So how long till we'll be in Bloomington?'

'Two days, maybe three.'

'At least I have you comrade and possible strigoi to keep me company' I joked, he smiled.

Finally I had him; he usually never smiled when I called him comrade. I looked over at the clock 3am. In the Moroi world they run on a nocturnal schedule which means our days are at night and vice versa.

'Well we should've brought a Spirit user,' he made a joke he'd actually made a joke.

'But that would've just meant, I couldn't have you to myself.'


End file.
